Understanding Shame vs Guilt From A Christian Perspective
Before we get started don’t forget to sign up for our news letter so you don’t miss out on any new posts or resources!
A common theme that continuously comes up in therapy is the conversation surrounding guilt and shame. Many individuals I see come in are consumed by shame but label it as guilt. The shame of their past has now intertwined with their identity and they are now forcing themselves to carry a burden that Christ never intended for them to carry. To make matters worse, much of the shame that is brought into my office wasn’t even something they committed, but rather tied to a sin that someone else committed. Of course there are many individuals that have struggled with shame due to things they may have committed themselves. However, it should also be noted that much shame isn’t something developed from one person, but the influence of many people.
So why does it matter to understand the difference between shame and guilt?
Reflecting upon my own life, I didn’t realize how heavy of a burden shame was until I was able to lay the shame down at the cross. I also didn’t realize how much shame could weigh down my relationship with the Lord. A sneaky little trick the devil loves to use to put distance between us and God. But how can we differentiate the difference between shame and guilt?
Guilt – the belief and understanding that you made a mistake. This could be a sin committed against yourself, the Lord, or another person.
Shame – the belief that YOU are the mistake. The person’s sin or someone else’s sin from the past now shapes one’s identity in a negative light.
Understanding Guilt
Guilt is understanding that YOU made a mistake. Guilt when viewed through the lens of God, can be a healthy and redemptive tool. Although it is by no means a fun experience, guilt allows us to be shaped and transformed by God in order to remove sin out of our lives. Guilt is the conviction of the Holy Spirit, teaching us that we have sinned against our heavenly Father and now have the opportunity to allow God to sanctify us. We are all guilty in God’s eyes and we will all experience moments of conviction. It is a very normal part of the Christian life because none of us can be perfect. Despite how hard we may try to be at times, perfection is the last thing God is looking for. Christ is looking for dedication, not perfection.
Understanding Shame
Shame on the other hand is a tool utilized by the devil to distort our identity Christ has already placed within us. The sin itself becomes a part of our identity, putting a wedge between you and the Lord. Yes we all make mistakes, but the devil uses shame to make you think that you have committed the worst sins, greater than anyone else that has walked throughout this earth. Even more painfully, shame can make you carry the weight of sins that others have committed against you, leaving you with guilt that was never yours to bear. That is a shame. Shame tells you the problem isn’t what you did—it’s who you are. Who you are is now defined by how good of a person you can be. Then we find ourselves trying to make up for the sins, as a consequence of feeling “not good enough” because we aren’t perfect. Funny how we end up trying to be perfect like God rather than rely on the perfect God.
Moving Past Shame
You no longer have to be kept up late at night with the thoughts of your past consuming you. You do not need to fear whether or not you are going to make it to heaven because of your past. Or worry that God is just “tolerating you”. No, let’s move past the shame and find freedom in Christ Himself. God never intended for us to carry the weight of condemnation when He already carried the cross and died for the same sins you are ashamed of. We have to get this standard of perfection out of our mind. We were never meant to achieve perfection. We are meant to rely on a perfect God who wants to teach us and guide us along the way to the path of righteousness. We are allowed to make mistakes. In fact, scripture is full of individuals that are messy and make mistakes constantly. I mean have you read King David’s life story? That man made serious mistakes. Yet despite those mistakes his love for the Lord opened his heart to convictions in order to grow in his walk with the Lord.
Separating Shame From Our Identity
Do you know where shame is hiding in your life? Are you confusing it for guilt? Does it show up as insecurity or perfectionism? Or are you working yourself to death in your faith to “makeup” for your past? Shame can be sneaky but God wants us to be at peace with ourselves. He doesn’t want us to be worried whether or not we are good enough because He knew you were good enough when He decided to die for you on that cross. Yes, He even thought of you and me when He was up there. So lets start catching when shame is showing up in our identity.
Shame can be hiding behind our worthiness. You may not be feeling “good enough” – not spiritual enough, good enough, smart enough, or lovable enough.
Shame can also make us feel as if we must hide from God, thinking that after that mistake there is no way He would forgive or continue to love us.
Maybe you are talking to yourself the way the devil does? The devil calls us by our sins when God calls us by name! So notice if you are being overly critical or harsh towards yourself. Are you talking to yourself the way Christ talks about you?
You could also be carrying the responsibilities of someone else’s sins. Yes, shame is very crafty because not only do we feel we are responsible for our own actions but we now must reap the consequences of someone else’s sin. Are you feeling shame for things done to you, not by you. This can include things such as abuse, betrayal, or rejection.
Finally, are you trying to “makeup” for your past? Are you operating in a way that makes you believe you only deserve God’s love for how good you are?
You Deserve Grace
Guilt and shame may look the same but they are far from it. God never intended for you to carry the weight of your sins. The enemy works tirelessly to damage our relationship with God, trying to trap us into identifying ourslves by our mistakes. But God wants your identity to be rooted in Christ, not in sin. So don’t let those fears of unworthiness and unforgiveness consume your mind. In fact, start replacing that identity in shame with how Christ views you. God sees you as His beloved child. Someone He actively chose to call His child. Someone who is loved beyond measure. Someone who is worth redemption. Christ gave everything in order for you to be loved to the fullest. Your true identity is a child of a perfect God, who loves you more than anything. So, throw away that identity of shame, fears, and mistakes. We will give that back to the devil.
Want To Further Your Mental Health Journey? You can actually start reading the many book recommendations on this blog for FREE in the next 60 seconds. Grab a [Free 30-Day Kindle Unlimited Trial here] or [Get 3 months of Audible for just $0.99/mo] to unlock this title and thousands of other mental health tools, instantly on your phone or tablet. (Note: Kindle Unlimited selection varies over time; check the product page for current eligibility.)
Free Digital Download
Here is a free coloring sheet created for this Bible study!
Thank You Everyone
Thank you all who continue to support me along this beautiful journey. The more I read scripture the more I am convinced that scripture and psychology go together beautifully. There is so much wisdom in God’s words and I pray He continues to show us grace as we learn together on how to incorporate our mental health alongside our faith journey with Christ. I hope you have the best and most blessed day ever!
Sierra Stratman MSW LMSW U/S PhD Student
Disclaimer
I am a Licensed Master Social Worker (LMSW), but I am not your therapist. The information provided in this blog post, including book recommendations and mental health insights, is for educational and informational purposes only. It does not constitute a therapist-client relationship, nor is it intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition. Never disregard professional advice or delay seeking it because of something you have read here.