A Biblical Perspective On Self Forgiveness As A Christian 

Learning how to forgive yourself as a Christian can be a daunting challenge. We all have moments of regret. We do things we wish we hadn’t. Maybe we even regret the actions of someone else but blame ourselves. Many individuals come into my office so full of shame and regret, they feel they must continue to beat themselves up. Believing they deserve the pain they are enduring. This perpetuation of shame is often due to regrets of the past. Maybe even the fear of losing our salvation with the Lord. However, I dare to even say that not being able to forgive yourself could be putting a wall in the way of you and your relationship with the Lord. But how do we forgive ourselves? It is a crucial step in our journey with our Heavenly Father. We will learn how to love ourselves the way Christ loves us one step at a time. He does not want us living in shame, let alone not loving ourselves the way He loves us. 

He loves us so deeply that His thoughts about us outnumber every grain of sand on the earth. Hard to imagine what that really means? Consider this, a single cubic foot of sand contains between 500 million and 1 billion grains. If there are that many grains in just one small space, imagine how vast and countless God’s loving thoughts toward us truly are.

Psalm 139:17-18

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.

Reflection 

Ask yourself this question. How differently would your life be if you loved yourself as purely and genuinely as He loves you? How much deeper could you love your neighbor if you learned how to forgive yourself? 

Matthew 22

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

If you learn how to love yourself the way that Christ loves you it will radically change not only your walk with the Lord but also how you walk with the body of Christ. 

Practical Steps to Forgiving Ourselves:

In the same way it takes time to forgive others, it will take time to learn how to forgive yourself. God never called you to be perfect. In fact, He anticipated our failures, giving us an abundance of grace and compassion readily for us to experience. Self forgiveness is an act of faith towards the Lord. So lets learn how to trust in Him and let Him guide us to learning how to view ourselves through His eyes.  

Step 1: Accept God’s Grace

• Understand that God has already forgiven you through Christ’s sacrifice. His grace covers all your mistakes, no matter how big or small.
• 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV): “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”

Step 2: Let Go of Guilt and Shame

• Stop holding onto guilt. Remember that Jesus has already paid the price for your sins. Holding onto guilt is like telling God that His grace is not enough.
• Psalm 103:12 (NIV): “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”

Step 3: Walk in Newness of Life

• Embrace the new life that God has given you and step into the purpose He has for you. Don’t let past mistakes define your future.
• Romans 8:1 (NIV): “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

Step 4: Share Your Struggles With Others

• You do not and should not hide your skeletons in your closet. No, you should rather be sharing your struggles with others to help you overcome and process these thoughts holding you captive in your mind. (Find a therapist, pastor, or spiritual mentor to help guide you through this.) 
• James 5:16 (NIV) “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”

Step 5: Renew Your Mind Daily

• Your mind will try to bring up old memories, regrets, or failures, but God calls you to renew your thoughts with His truth. Healing happens when you replace self-criticism with Scripture and God’s promises.
• Romans 12:2 (NIV): “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”

Step 6: Set Healthy Boundaries With Negative Thoughts

• When intrusive thoughts or harsh self-judgment arise, don’t entertain them. Instead, redirect them through truth and prayer. Not every thought deserves your attention.
• 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV): “We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Step 7: Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection

• Growth takes time. Celebrate small moments of healing and obedience. Progress glorifies God because it reflects His work in you.
• Philippians 1:6 (NIV): “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Step 8:  Spend Time in God’s Presence

• Self-forgiveness grows naturally when you allow God to reshape your heart through prayer, worship, and quiet time. His presence softens shame and strengthens your identity in Him.
• Psalm 34:5 (NIV): “Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.”

Final Thoughts 

We have all fallen short in the eyes of God. However, there is no need to daily bully or shame ourselves for the mistakes of our past. We should especially not be shaming ourselves due to the sins someone committed against you. Forgiveness is a daily act, which requires us to slow down and identify how we can provide grace for ourselves in that moment. Once you are able to fully forgive yourself the way Christ has already forgiven you, your walk with the Lord will be radically changed for the better. Our Holy Father wants us to live in freedom, not in captivity. Give yourself time and please give yourself the same grace God has given you right now. 

I hope you enjoyed this discussion and if you have any topics you would like me to explore please leave a comment below. If you have subscribed to the weekly newsletter do so! It is completely free to you and helps motivate me to keep going! 

Check out this week’s Bible Study over Self Forgiveness Here! 

Thank you for tuning in and I hope you have the best and most blessed day ever!

Sierra Stratman MSW LMSW